Memorable Times, Dad, and Me
“Where is your mom?”
“How do you feel when you are without your mom?”
“I just wish I did not have mom because she distracts me a lot.”
Before I became ten, I thought these scenarios and questions will not come to me. I had fun time with my mom and dad, and because our family is relatively well off compared to other families I enjoyed more of opportunities than many other friends whom I know. However, the reality did not always give what I wanted throughout my childhood and whole life.
When I was ten years old, our family became totally different world. In the summer of that year, because of conflicts that our father and our mother had with their financial, emotional, and also personal problems, my parents decided to divorce and went to court battle with their inheritance. At first I did not realize the impact and the huge size of tragedy and sadness because I was really childish at that time. It was the time that I was too much naïve and could not feel the tragedy with my family, but the feeling of loneliness came very fast.
When I became 6th grader, there were numerous opportunities that I felt “I am only living with dad.” When I became upperclassman in my elementary school, there were numbers of parent-student conferences in my school. At the time of conference, there were a lot of friends that were with “both” their father and mother. However, for some times, I was the only one who only had the father as the only parent. I did not feel any loneliness and futility at the first time of conference, but I began to feel some kind of “space” in my heart. Finally, in the summer of 6th grade, I cried because I felt extreme amount of loneliness in my heart. I firstly felt so much emptiness because of absence of mom in the family, and I really blamed my dad for periods of the time when I was young. Even there was no one in my house when I came back from the school, which is unfamiliar compared to many other families. I thought that my life was heading to the end, and I couldn’t do anything without my mom. However, my dad approached as totally “different” father to me.
I always believe that my father is special and “best guy” for me. When my mother was in presence, I thought that my father was typically just a “quiet and stubborn” dad. It was the moment of divorce that my father became really different and special. After my dad and mom divorced, my father tried to spend the time with me. Not like many other fathers throughout the world, my dad always planned bi-monthly trips to Southeast Asian countries, such as Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, Vietnam, to have enjoyable time together. I firstly did not realize that was my dad’s sign to show love for me, and I still blamed my dad for “kicking out my mom.” People can think parent’s love as necessity, and it was the time that I thought in that way as well.
On the other hand, when I began to grow up, I could feel more of my dad’s dedication and love toward me. Finally, there was one moment that I could perfectly realize my dad’s love, and it was the moment that I began to live by myself in the United States. When my father was about to leave to Korea at the first time of myself studying in the United States, my dad said to me,
“You are the best son I know, and you are the best person I know. I believe in you, and you are always in my heart. I will miss you so much.”
These small words changed whole my life. I began to love the life only with my dad, and I did not feel any loneliness as well because I can always think that my dad truly loves and cares me. Even though I sometimes resent about parent’s divorce, my father’s spending and dedicating his time with me becomes panacea for me. The first reason, my father’s genuine and unconditional love, is one of the elements that I thought I could be better off throughout my life.
However, the love is not the only reason that I really enjoyed the life only with dad. After divorce, because my father always came back early from the work and talked and spent time with me, I could listen innumerable amount of life lessons from my dad. For the first time, I thought it was the most boring moments that I had. On the other hand, I can grow up as “truthful” and “caring” man because of my dad’s lessons. My father, throughout days, always said that I have to be honest and sympathetic toward everything and everyone. Also, my father was one of the people who led me into active and smiling guy. He always buttressed me to speak up, and because of him I can get out of my shy character. His love is always unconditional, but his life lessons and support were another sources that led me into better and happier person throughout my life.
Just in one sentence, from now on, I cannot live without my dad. His support, lessons, and love toward me are the only priceless elements I have.
Back To Autoethonography
Back To Home
“How do you feel when you are without your mom?”
“I just wish I did not have mom because she distracts me a lot.”
Before I became ten, I thought these scenarios and questions will not come to me. I had fun time with my mom and dad, and because our family is relatively well off compared to other families I enjoyed more of opportunities than many other friends whom I know. However, the reality did not always give what I wanted throughout my childhood and whole life.
When I was ten years old, our family became totally different world. In the summer of that year, because of conflicts that our father and our mother had with their financial, emotional, and also personal problems, my parents decided to divorce and went to court battle with their inheritance. At first I did not realize the impact and the huge size of tragedy and sadness because I was really childish at that time. It was the time that I was too much naïve and could not feel the tragedy with my family, but the feeling of loneliness came very fast.
When I became 6th grader, there were numerous opportunities that I felt “I am only living with dad.” When I became upperclassman in my elementary school, there were numbers of parent-student conferences in my school. At the time of conference, there were a lot of friends that were with “both” their father and mother. However, for some times, I was the only one who only had the father as the only parent. I did not feel any loneliness and futility at the first time of conference, but I began to feel some kind of “space” in my heart. Finally, in the summer of 6th grade, I cried because I felt extreme amount of loneliness in my heart. I firstly felt so much emptiness because of absence of mom in the family, and I really blamed my dad for periods of the time when I was young. Even there was no one in my house when I came back from the school, which is unfamiliar compared to many other families. I thought that my life was heading to the end, and I couldn’t do anything without my mom. However, my dad approached as totally “different” father to me.
I always believe that my father is special and “best guy” for me. When my mother was in presence, I thought that my father was typically just a “quiet and stubborn” dad. It was the moment of divorce that my father became really different and special. After my dad and mom divorced, my father tried to spend the time with me. Not like many other fathers throughout the world, my dad always planned bi-monthly trips to Southeast Asian countries, such as Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, Vietnam, to have enjoyable time together. I firstly did not realize that was my dad’s sign to show love for me, and I still blamed my dad for “kicking out my mom.” People can think parent’s love as necessity, and it was the time that I thought in that way as well.
On the other hand, when I began to grow up, I could feel more of my dad’s dedication and love toward me. Finally, there was one moment that I could perfectly realize my dad’s love, and it was the moment that I began to live by myself in the United States. When my father was about to leave to Korea at the first time of myself studying in the United States, my dad said to me,
“You are the best son I know, and you are the best person I know. I believe in you, and you are always in my heart. I will miss you so much.”
These small words changed whole my life. I began to love the life only with my dad, and I did not feel any loneliness as well because I can always think that my dad truly loves and cares me. Even though I sometimes resent about parent’s divorce, my father’s spending and dedicating his time with me becomes panacea for me. The first reason, my father’s genuine and unconditional love, is one of the elements that I thought I could be better off throughout my life.
However, the love is not the only reason that I really enjoyed the life only with dad. After divorce, because my father always came back early from the work and talked and spent time with me, I could listen innumerable amount of life lessons from my dad. For the first time, I thought it was the most boring moments that I had. On the other hand, I can grow up as “truthful” and “caring” man because of my dad’s lessons. My father, throughout days, always said that I have to be honest and sympathetic toward everything and everyone. Also, my father was one of the people who led me into active and smiling guy. He always buttressed me to speak up, and because of him I can get out of my shy character. His love is always unconditional, but his life lessons and support were another sources that led me into better and happier person throughout my life.
Just in one sentence, from now on, I cannot live without my dad. His support, lessons, and love toward me are the only priceless elements I have.
Back To Autoethonography
Back To Home